Life is Change
January 30, 2017
Life is strange.
You make plans, you dream your plans and then you experience your plans or see them crumble. The case is usually the later. I wasn’t writing any blog posts for a while now. Not because of laziness. I simply… I don’t know.
For me, 2016 was an interesting year that brought in many changes. I have released my first book and officially became a writer, wrote another one and earlier today, I sent it for a final wrap up to my editor. I am almost ready to publish it. I recorded and released the second album of Maegi, having improvements on various fronts. I launched a t-shirt design brand, although not being able to take care of it much due to my father’s illness.
But, most importantly, I lost my father. We hoped, we fought and we lost that battle. Rather hard.
Death is an interesting concept. Every culture differs but here, we enter the grave and put the shrouded body ourselves. It is the duty of the son (or daughter); entering there, opening the ropes that tie the shroud and throwing the first shovel of earth on the shroud. It is a mind opening practice. I experienced this before at my mother’s funeral but I was just a bit over 18 then. Now, I am over 34 and understanding of life, the perception, is different. Evolved. That moment made me put some things into perspective. My plans continue regarding my career of course, but I am paying attention to my own needs in life more and more. Not in a selfish way, but more like a change of perspective. We, as a family, never shied away from the concept of death. I accept death as it is. Everything starts and ends. It is the feeling of absence that needs adjusting. Our minds tend to become lazy and forget the concept of death. Or perhaps, it comforts us to "ignore" death as if it will never come. It is, sadly, good to remember the ultimate truth at times. It helps keeping one's emotions, ambitions and aggression in check.
The first step I took was to start practicing Aikido. Something I was postponing for years. Another one was to switch careers regarding my business. I am working on that front as well. We also tied the knot with my longtime partner, making it “official” in front of the law. More changes will come if I can accomplish and I will announce those in upcoming weeks and months. Some of these were on hold due to my father’s illness while others are simply coming out now as a part of this new understanding. The only thing that won’t change is change itself.
And I am no longer afraid of changes.